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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The streak is dead (long live the streak)

I've been really proud of keeping a three-week streak of consistent training, but despite really trying to fit in my 4 miles tonight in the face of
  • my own stupidity (having to detour alll the way back across campus--a 10-min walk each way-- to put my parking tag in the window instead of the glove compartment, creating a 30-min walk to the gym instead of 1/3 of that)...
...and the fact that...

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  • the world does not, in fact, revolve around my running schedule (my teacher's idea of letting us out "early" and mine do not mesh, Jeff actually had the nerve to ask me to pick up milk on the way home)...
...and the fact that...
  • Jeff had to take N to practice in St. Louis so I'm the only one home with J
...the run just isn't going to happen.

All good things must end, I guess, and maybe it's a good thing that this good thing is ending.  Yesterday, after a rough afternoon from a variety of reasons, both controllable (if I stayed on my homework and didn't have to do it at the last minute it wouldn't be so overwhelming) and uncontrollable (inability to convince my ex-husband that paying child support is more important than spending $50 to take his kids to a movie), I burst into tears when I walked in the house and saw that Jeff and J had gotten me balloons for Valentine's Day (we'd agreed not to get each other anything) and spent most of the rest of evening crying.  Jeff and the boys went to my niece's birthday party, and I stayed home and did homework.

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Very nice balloons, no reason to make me cry at all.
By the time they got home, I was a little more stable, both caught up on schoolwork and reassured by the fact that most of my class is as behind as I was (if not more).  I went out for my 2-mile run...and tripped on the sidewalk and fell not 1/2 mile in.  That was pretty much the icing on the cake.  I'm not proud to tell you that I laid there on the sidewalk for a little bit and cried.  I thought about walking back home and decided that I needed to buck up and finish the run.  I cried for a little more while I ran, but it was too hard to cry and breathe, so I had to cut that out (the crying, not the breathing, obviously).

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Yeah, I know it doesn't look that bad, but it hurts.

I've still been kind of teary today, and that's not really me.  In retrospect, I think I've just been overdoing it.  Instead of burning the candle at both ends, I've just tossed it into the fireplace.  Maybe a little overtraining going on.  So I'm going to try and relax about the fact that I'm going to miss a run (or two), get a little extra sleep, and try and stay more on top of the things I can control.  I've been really hit or miss on blogs lately, life is just so crazy.  My Tuesday night class ends at the end of the month, as will driving to St. Louis for club volleyball.  The end is in sight.  I think I can...I think I can...

This candle has it easy
Turns out I can't do it all.  Who knew?

15 comments:

  1. I have never seen you cry, yet apparently you do it all the time. Keep your chin up, lil' buckaroo things will get better.

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  2. You've had a rough go of it! Let the streak go and don't look back. Sometimes life gets in the way. Take a little rest and know what you did was amazing!

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  3. You're still doing more than somebody who is doing nothing, in fact, you're doing a whole lot more than most people who are even doing something. So, I think that still makes you super. I saw the 'not so super' label at the bottom and I disagree :D (I hope you followed all that. I'm on medication for being sickly, and I don't think the medication I'm on in addition to oxygen debt from trying to continue running is helping my poor brain much)

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  4. It's easy to say "I know how you feel," but...I think I do. I've spent a good chunk of this week contemplating curling up in a ball and crying. To the point where my tri coach went through my schedule and made a bunch of changes to make things easier this week, and told me I could skip swimming today if I felt lazy.

    There is a light. And it's okay to back off and make changes to allow yourself room to breathe.

    Also: I like your socks.

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  5. Even Superman had his weakness. It turns out SuperKage's kryptonite is trying to do everything all at once while being too hard in herself.

    Your training is going great. School always seems worse than it is. This is just a dip on your rise to the top!

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  6. keep your chin up love...we've all been there. <3

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  7. umm... I know I am new to this stuff, but you hurt yourself on a run, right? Then you stopped because you were injured. Mentally and physically. Right?

    If I refused to count days when I listened to my body as it screamed more loudly than my training plan, I might not call myself a runner at all.

    Also, if you find those socks have gone missing? I stole them. ; )

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  8. For some reason the song from Charlotte's Web (the movie) just popped into my head... Chin up, chin up...up with your chinny chin chin.

    I hope the three-ring circus that is life right now chills the heck out! And I hope you don't fall again...that DOES look like it hurts. Hope it is all better soon :)

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  9. OUCH! Sometimes the smallest scrapes hurt the most. Hang in there for the end being in sight, but cut yourself a lot of slack and get some rest. Remember fun? Yeah, that! (((HUGS)))

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  10. Looks plenty painful. The best part of ending a streak is, once you get over the bummer, the ensuing feeling of freedom.

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  11. Aw..Balloons! I would cry too.
    Sorry about the owie. Be safe!

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  12. Sorry things have been building up girl. I hope the fall was the climax and things return to a more manageable level quickly. You're wise to end the streak. So be it.

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  13. Jeff scores some points with the ballons. Way to go Jeff!

    Way to suck it up after falling and having a crappy day. That takes mental toughness for sure. Yep, you'll miss some runs. No big deal.

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  14. I don't like reading about you have sh.... days! It was time to stop the streak as it was just too unrealistic to keep up. I was proud of myself last week when I only ran once that I didn't go CRAZY thinking about not following my plan as I am so anal about it. I did the smart thing and stayed off my foot.

    Sounds like you needed to cry for a bit. I would have been very glad to know everyone else was behind on homework too as misery truly loves company.

    Did you ask me about vacations in Feb? We always have one and I love it! One more day, just one more day!

    Take care of yourself and yes the world surely does revolve around you, I like to think it revolves around me.

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  15. Kate is super also when she cries.
    I have similar socks (in blue) that I bought in Edinburgh.
    Take care and ... all the best.

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