How to lose a customer*:
1. Don't call me when my bike is done. When I call you, tell me there was no answering machine even though I gave you my cell number and I know that's not true.
2. Don't do the whole job. Even if I tell you that I have a race coming up and need my seriously wobbly wheel fixed, do a half-ass job that leaves it in pretty much the same condition as I brought it and then call it a day.
3. Don't mention that you couldn't fix the wheel. When I (foolishly) assume it's done and leave without looking closely at it, watch me go.
How to get free beer:
1. Work on my bike for me.
Luckily, I have a couple of awesome friends who've done this for me, some more than once. Thanks, Wade! And Chuck, I owe you one...or six. :)