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Friday, April 20, 2012

Just Go Girl

A note to my more sensitive readers: this is a post about pee, especially peeing outside. In it, I reference pee more than your average 3 year old boy. If the topic of pee offends you, or you simply prefer not to read about pee, let me refer you to some more ladylike topics:

<crickets>Ummm....</crickets>

Still here? Ok, then. Alert readers will remember that on the way down to Tennessee for the LBL Challenge adventure race (oh, please...you didn't really think I was done talking about that, did you?), Bob picked up a little gift for me at Gander Mountain: my very own Go Girl ("Don't take life sitting down!") so that I could pee standing up and feel like one of the guys.


While I was less than excited, they found the whole thing hilarious. So entertaining that, even though I (wisely, as it turned out) refused to try the Go Girl during the race, every. single. time. I went to the bathroom that weekend Luke would say, "You go girl!" Which didn't get old at all. :) Since Bob had spent his hard-earned money to extend my urinary options, though, I promised to try it out at home and report back.

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It freaked me out a little to see how similar these containers were. I certainly wouldn't want to be dumping my Go Girl into my water bottle..."]


**I guess this is as good a place as any to mention that my husband thinks this whole review is a bad idea, that you'll think I'm weird, and that I'm inviting the wrong kind of attention. I've assured him that my weirdness is a well-established fact, but I would appreciate it if the psychos stayed away, because the only thing worse than being chopped up into little pieces by some sit-to-pee fanatic would be having to admit that Jeff was right.**

The Go Girl wasn't an entirely new concept to me; I'd read a mention of it in Athena Diaries (I think) some time ago. The line that sticks in my head is "she peed off a cliff and it changed her life". Appealing as that thought might be, my impression was a bit less enthusiastic. You might say I wasn't yet sold on the technology.

My initial thoughts: This seems like too much trouble. Do you have to put it away wet? Gross. How exactly does this work? Wedge the thing into your pants? Otherwise you'd still have to pull pants all the way down, which doesn't help any in the privacy dept.

A little research turned up this hilariously bad video. I warn you, it's minutes of your life you'll never get back. It did, however, clue me in to the idea of using a water bottle to rinse out the Go Girl, because it seems mighty wasteful to spend $10(ish) on a single use item.

Once I'd watched the video, it was time to begin the testing.

Presenting.....the Go Girl

Trial 1: at home in the bathroom with my skirt pulled up and the rest removed, just in case (a good plan, as it turned out). There's a bit of a learning curve. You definitely don't want to wait until the last minute when you really have to go. As there's not much of an opening at the end, it fills much faster than it empties.

It's kind of like emptying the bathtub into a thimble.
Oh well...it was probably time for me to clean my toilet...and my floor.

Overall, the whole experience was weird. Standing up to pee felt very unfeminine. Because of the fill/drain lag, the peeing continues for a while after you stop going. And I had to put the toilet seat down after I used it...which is just wrong. The aim part, though, wasn't difficult at all; I don't know what guys' problem is.

Impression so far: no thanks. I was way less dressed and more exposed than using the squat behind tree method.

Trial 2: at home, wearing skirt but no underwear. This trial went better: no spillage, but I had to pee realllllly slowly to prevent it. If I had to pee RIGHT NOW I would totally have had a flood. Between holding clothes out of the way and holding the Go Girl in place, wiping and such is hard to coordinate. Still thinking it's more trouble than it's worth.

Trial 3: at home, skirt and panties on. No spills, but I felt exceedingly unladylike. (Kind of funny that this is such an issue for me in light of Bob telling me during the race that my sneeze was "the most feminine thing I've ever heard you do." He later amended feminine to girly, which is a little better, but clearly I don't come off as ladylike.) Also, standing up to pee eliminated that valuable phone-checking time you get while sitting (what, like you never do that?
Important note: this is not the tool to use if there's any question of exactly which # you're there for. No actual problems occurred, but there was a scary moment. The test, however, was a success. Ready for field testing...I guess.
Trial #4: field testing during trail maintenance. The nicely overgrown woods made for good privacy...much better than the bare winter trees. I'll admit, it was nice not having to pull my pants all the way down, but it still felt kind of weird. Since I was wondering about the time involved in using the Go Girl (also availabe in khaki!!!) instead of the squat method, I timed myself using it. It took me 1:49 to take out, use, and pack back away GG (in the conveniently included bag since I didn't have a water bottle for rinsing). Once again, the Go Girl took forever to empty once I was finished peeing. I'm planning a slight modification to see if I can improve that situation.

The verdict: After fairly extensive testing, I can't say that the Go Girl is going to be a regular part of my bathroom arsenal. As jealous as I am of the guys' ability to turn away, whip it out, and pee right on the side of the road, even with the Go Girl I'm just not likely to do that. In my opinion, it's a lot simpler to find a spot, pee, and then catch back up rather than mess getting something out, using it, then cleaning and repacking it.

That's not to say that Bob wasted his money, though. I can definitely think of some times the Go Girl would be beneficial. For example, I can't wait to take it with me this next winter.

I've always wanted to pee my name in the snow

And if my husband ever gets sick of me, the Go Girl could certainly come in handy getting rid of those pesky one night stands who just won't leave. (Thanks to Mike for the video!)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyHdeqLOk8U]


(Disclaimer: I was given a Go Girl for free, courtesy of Team Virtus and primarily for their own amusement. I did not pay for Go Girl, receive payment for this review, or agree to give a positive review. Aside from information gleaned from the company website, the opinions are my own.)
(Disclaimer (b): I stole this disclaimer from Midwest Multisport Life because I've never actually needed to make one up before.)

24 comments:

  1. Although you stole his disclaimer, I think Kovas couldn't have done a better review.

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  2. Interestingly enough, the April 2012 issue of Ultrarunning has an article on women peeing standing up.

    I'm thinking a kitchen funnel and a hose piece might be a DIY version (with quicker drainage).

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  3. I wonder if you snipped off the end if it'd work better (but make aiming more difficult, I imagine). Because how the eff hard it'd be to pee slow when you really have to go?!? That would piss me off...and I would flood myself. Annoying.

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  4. I've been waiting for this post for the past week after you gave me a head's up it was coming! Haha. A couple years ago I got some email about gifts for the girl runner and this contraption was listed. I about died laughing and sent the link to Beth (SUAR) and she did a post about it...mostly how this was actually an item ;). So I'm glad you got to try it out, I've been dying to now how it worked. See, your husband is totally wrong about you, we all love this post :).

    I have absolutely no problem standing and peeing. Just pull the ole running shorts off to the side and squat about 3 inches and I'm good to go!! :)

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  5. As a person who is likely to flash you for fun, the whole MODESTY thing eludes me. But as a hiker who generally wears long pants on the trail and has been known to complain when said pants smelled of pee, these things have intrigued me for a while.

    Yes, I was dehydrated. Bugger off.

    On the basis of this review, I might actually get one for this year's hiking season. Which will probably make your husband further question the sanity of the people you talk to on the internet. I promise, I am insane.

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  6. Haha!! It really works? I have seen those and always wondered...

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  7. That was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Fascinating, disgusting, impossible to look away.

    JB

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  9. L.M.A.O.

    Yeah, what anonymous said (but was too scared to admit to by leaving their real bloogy name)!!

    as sad as this sounds (to your hubs at least) made my day (or at least made me laugh without crying!!). But I'm not sure I would ever actually try the item...I'm a lil too prissy for it (I'd rather drop drawers and squat).

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  10. I am *really* good at popping a squat.

    My biggest issue would be dribbling pee on myself while putting it away.

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  11. I have no interest in this product as it seems way more of a pita to use than squatting in a more out of the way place. Never mind the fact that I really, really don't like peeing outside. PERIOD. Maybe I'm doomed to short distance races??

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  12. Hmmmm........you've sold me on NOT getting it. Sounds like more work than it is worth. I'd rather do the old tried and true. Just watch out for ticks.

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  13. This was a great review and you were SO thorough. I don't think I'll be purchasing one of these. I'm sort of proud of my ability to pee in the woods the old-fashioned girl way and am passing my technique on to my daughter.

    That said, you do GO GIRL.

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  14. LOLOL that video cracked me up!!!!

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  15. I just noticed the tags on this post. LOL

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  16. Jeff needs to hang around endurance athletes more :-). After wearing spandex too often and having issues in areas of the body most people don't talk about, discussing saddle sores, peeing, chaffing, and more is just part of the deal.

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  17. Just watched the video. Outstanding. (pun intended). You should dedicate a whole entry to reviewing it.

    JB

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  18. I could write my name in the snow but ... where is the snow?
    A great video! He was really scared before understanding.

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  19. Well worth the wait. Hilarious (and honest) review! I can't wait to read the updated review this winter.

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  20. OH ... MY ... GOD!

    I've been camping with the family since I was in a carseat - I've got the squat thing down just fine.

    Say, is that a You Go Girl in your pocket or are you just glad to see me??? XD

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  21. Love the review - you go girl! I always steal the MML disclaimer also:)

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  22. I liked the "Anonymous" post above - was really useful.

    I've never used a go girl or a go guy or anything past a gatorade bottle. But I did PR a Strava segement on Sunday solely because I really had to take a leak and at the end of the segment lies a bathroom.

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