Not my day job
Last weekend I traded my running gear for heels and dress clothes in order to officiate my sister-in-law's wedding. Long-time readers might remember that I played the same role a couple of years ago for my cousin, but the fact that this was a repeat performance of sorts did nothing to lessen my nerves (nor did the fact that the groom's brother, who's a for-real minister as opposed to the internet-ordained type, ended up being able to attend...great, now I was being judged by a professional!).
Thankfully I had the basic ceremony outline saved from last time. My sister-in-law went through it and highlighted the parts she wanted in her wedding, but I also wanted something that spoke to them personally. In the end, I'm pretty happy with what I came up with:
|Pre-wedding selfie, really wishing for a glass of wine instead of a can of soda.|
When J. called me a couple months ago and asked me to marry her, I was a little confused, because I'm already married to her brother. When she clarified that she wanted me to marry her to C., though, I was thrilled because I've been there as their relationship has grown and seen how happy they make each other.
It's so easy in some ways to get married as a young adult. It's all joy and certainty of forever and excitement of starting your life together, and though you're surrounded by family and friends your relationship is really about the two of you and the life you'll create together. Starting over as an adult is hard, when you've loved and lost, when you've given your heart and been let down. You know the risk in a way that you didn't understand in your starry-eyed youth. Starting over with a ready-made family is hard, whether you're looking for someone who is good enough to trust with your kids or measuring up to not just the expectations of your love but also the more skeptical eyes of her children.
And so today really is a triumph of love. When two people can say to each other, "I know the risk and you are worth it." And as excited as J. and C. have been for their wedding, I think J's kids have been just as excited. When you've won over not just one heart, but seven people, that's something special.
I made her cry, and her daughter cry, so I guess that's a good thing. And if it's not, maybe no one else will be asking for my ministerial services, and that's ok too. :)