I know I've mentioned before that my husband is not a fan of my new church. (Can I say "new" after 6 months? I guess so if it's compared to 35 years.) He went to one service with me and was asking "Are we done yet?" by the end of the second song. I love my church, though, and it has been an area where we choose to agree to disagree.
This week, my church put on a presentation called "Heaven's Gates Hell's Flames", which was about how the choices you make about committing your heart to Jesus (or not doing so) affect where you spend eternity. I went to see it on Sunday. I wasn't sure what I'd think about it, but it really was very powerful. It made me think a lot about my husband and kids, about where their hearts are, and about what I have taught and modelled for them (which is not much).
I had invited Jeff to go with me on Sunday, and he turned me down. After watching the play, I called him on the way home and told him I would really like for him to go with me the next day. He was very noncommittal. I even invited two of my brothers, and inviting anyone to a church type of thing is a very new and uncomfortable thing for me.
Well, on the way home from work Monday, I called Jeff to ask if he was going to go. He told me that he had been thinking that, if it was important to me, he would go with me. Great, right? Until I had to open my big mouth. I asked him if he was going to go with an open mind (which, in my opinion, he did not do when he went to church with me before) because it would really hurt me for him to sit there and be very negative about it. Well, that led to a discussion/argument about whether he did, indeed, have an open mind when he went, why I didn't speak to him for 2 days after he made a comment I found hurtful, and what was wrong with my church.
I got off the phone SO annoyed. With him, and with myself. What was important was that he went. Even if he went with a bad attitude, it would at least give God a chance to work on him. Plant a seed. And I had spoiled it because I was busy trying to protect myself. Well, as I drove I realized that I needed to go home and humble myself, apologize, say I didn't want to fight about church, and tell him again how much I would appreciate it if he went.
And he did. :) So did Nathan.
Now, no floodgates were opened, but he went. And it did spark a conversation later in bed about church. Apologizing isn't an easy thing for me, especially when I don't feel like I am in the wrong, but it was so much the right choice for this situation. I thank God that He helped me humble myself to further His kingdom and answered my prayers by getting Jeff and Nathan to the play.