Tour de Donut: Gluttons for Punishment Trailer

Hamlet and I will be right in the thick of this mess on Saturday. Well, we'll start out right in the thick of it. I, for one, will quickly drop towards the back of it. I'm not speedy, and my hybrid isn't much competition for those road bikes. (Yeah, as if I'd be fast on a road bike. Fat chance.)

We did this last year, too. I finished in the top half, and I'd be happy with that again. In case you don't have the two minutes to watch the trailer (then you're probably also not wasting your limited time with my babble, but whatever), it's a 3-stage race of about 32 miles. After each of the first two stages, you stop at a city park and eat donuts. Each donut eaten takes 5 minutes off your race time.

For a rider like me (slow), there's a balance that must be upheld. Of course you have to eat the donuts. It's the whole point of the ride. But some quick math last year showed me that no way was it worth all of the calories it would take to have a winning donut-adjusted time. I had planned to eat 6; my competitive spirit kicked in, and I ate 7. The winning woman in my age group ate 15. That's a lot of donut calories! The winning MAN ate like 30. And I'm sure he was a beanpole. Whatever. Who says life is fair, right?