Marathon #2

Without training or planning or much forethought, I've embarked upon my second marathon.  But Kate, you haven't been running, I hear you say.  Never's a cleaning marathon, and I haven't been doing much of that lately, either.

My oldest son, who was starting kindergarten just yesterday, is graduating from high school tomorrow.

Daniel (on the left) with Nathan.  Possibly the last time they willingly stood this close to each other.
Graduating.  From high school.  Tomorrow.  This is insane for two reasons.  First, that my child is old enough to graduate from high school.  Second, that I am old enough to have a child old enough to graduate from high school.    What???? I'm not even 40!

But wait, enough about me.  We were talking about cleaning.

More specifically, we were talking about not cleaning.  Which is what I've done for the past few weeks.  Somehow I've managed to block out the fact that we're having 40ish guests over at our house tomorrow and I have to feed them and they are unlikely to eat food if it's served to them in a place that looks like the health department could condemn it at any time.  Granted, if they refuse to eat, it'll mean leftovers for us for a looooong time, but it also means that they might take off early and leave me to plot the death of entertain my former mother-in-law.

Left with the minor disaster that is my house, I had few options: 1) move; 2) rent a hall; 3) brave an outdoor party; or 4) burn the house down clean.  Since I didn't really start cleaning until Wednesday night, the cleaning has been something of a marathon effort.  Similar to a running a marathon, my lack of training has definitely impacted my pace.  I'm simply not in good cleaning shape.  Perhaps I should consider hiring a maid coach. Like an undertrained marathoner, I may not be happy with the results, and I could possibly incur an injury (or possibly inflict one, if the stress starts to get to me).

Thankfully, this marathon allows outside help in the form of my children and husband, who did a lot of cleaning while I was still at the gym after going to lunch after leaving work.  This take far longer than running 26.2 miles, so I might consider it an ultramarathon, instead.  And the only finisher's medal I'll receive is the dubious praise of family members who gush, "Wow, your house looks really.....nice?" and look outside to check and make sure they've arrived at the correct address. 

On the other hand, though it awards no bling to wear around me neck, I will win a house that's clean, comfortable, and something I can be proud of.  At least until the kids get up.


  1. A house cleaning marathon, MM. Now if I could offer an entry fee, have people pay, and then race to clean my house, that would be the bomb! I would be happy to offer a prize to those who finished first!

    Congrats on your son's graduation!

  2. Please come to my house when you are done...and keep on cleaning!

    I gave up on cleaning after I cleaned the carpets before a party and then I overheard my SIL say at the party to my husband "you guys should really get your carpets cleaned".
    See...why bother? :D

  3. Congrats on your son's graduation.
    Cleaning is more than a marathon, is an ultra and in the top pack there are only women.

  4. DUDE. you totally need to Groupon this type of an event. Next to facials, maid service is the second most common Groupon deal that comes across my email. Then you can sit and knock back cosmopolitans while strangers clean your dust and gossip with each other. To round out your day, you can ask them to lie about how the other houses they clean are way, way worse.

  5. Hysterical. I have had a severe lack of training for this marathon also! Congrats on your son's graduation! I bet everyone is having a great time at your sparkling house right now. Enjoy.

  6. Funny stuff! The only time our house really gets cleaned is when we have a bunch of people over too.

    Congrats on the graduation!

  7. Hey I know this story about the kindergarten and the graduation thing. Twice I know it! It is sad.

    But don't worry, once they come back from University, you will have another story to tell - "Who ate all my food?" but wait there's more, you also get "Who took the car?" ... and finally if they are follow the same genetic disposition as me "Who drank all my beer?"

    ... [spoiler alert] P.S. then they put you in a nursing home

    Good luck on the Marathon - don't let them take you alive!

  8. Hey Kate...didn't realize you had a blog! I'm following now and can't wait to read your posts. Till then..wanted you to know that you won one of the Laura Lippman novels I was giving away on my blog. Congrats!

  9. MY kind of marathon. I just got done cooking, cleaning, packing, purging - I feel I trained well today.....


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